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3 Sure Fire Yogic Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolution

ImageTis the season for some Tapas. And no I don’t mean the appetizers that we have all probably had a few too many of over the holidays. In yoga philosophy tapas is the Sanskrit word meaning self-discipline. In the yoga sutras, the ancient yoga sage Patanjali places such importance on this concept that he lists tapas as one of the three cornerstones of a yoga practice. Tapas is also granted it the status of being one of the all-important 8 limbs of Ashtanga yoga.

It has been said that the measure of one’s freedom can be determined by the measure of his self-discipline (or tapas). This never rings more true than at the beginning of the year when we are trying to free ourselves from (or to create new) habits. New Year’s Resolutions are things we know will make us happier so why do they so often fail? The answer is; tapas is uncomfortable. The literal translation of tapas is “to cook or to burn”. This an appropriate word to describe self-discipline because change requires discomfort. We must force ourselves to stay inside the fire of tapas long enough to reap the benefits, whether it is eating healthier, exercising more, or thinking positively. The ancient sages recognized that change was hard long before we knew the biology behind this peculiar fact. So, why is change so hard?

Change is hard because it doesn’t feel good. Our nervous systems are wired to maintain homeostasis (i.e. keep things the same). Throughout history our nervous systems have evolved to help us survive by essentially continuing to do the things that have kept us alive thus far. Being happy isn’t really a necessary survival skill. If what we are already doing is maintaining our existence then the nervous system is designed to keep it that way. Even though change might be beneficial it is risky.  Change also requires new muscle memories, new connections from sensory nerves to brain, and new pathways to be created inside the brain. It involves changing our “hardware” and it is hard work for the body. Think about learning the typing keyboard, new dance steps, a new piece of music. Remember how great it feels when you finally master it. Our nervous system loves to do what it already knows.

Another reason change is difficult is that our brains work economically. We don’t have much space in our conscious minds to do many things at once. As soon as something becomes second nature we relegate it to the unconscious. This is why we can eventuallyImage chat as we drive a car without crashing, or plan our day as we mow the lawn without cutting off our toes. The first day we did either of these things we were probably much more focused on driving and mowing. Our unconscious (i.e. our habits, second nature skills and thought/emotion patterns) is, in fact, most of what we are. Picture your mind as a big black square with just one little dot of white. That dot of white is your conscious mind. It is no wonder new year’s resolutions are so hard to keep. They are made with that little white dot of consciousness. The black area represents the storage space for automatic behaviors and beliefs that are already hard wired into your brain and done without thought. This area does NOT get the information your consciousness sends about your resolution. The result is the curious return to self-destructive habits that your conscious mind knows to be eroding wellness.

So what does this all mean for our new year’s resolutions? Now that you know how your nervous system and neuroplasticity works you can pursue your resolution with motivated perseverance, understanding and Swadhyaya (self-study). Try the tips below:

Set a Minimum Time to be in the Fire The good news is that the neuroplasticity that initially allows us to create these self-harming habits also allows us to also create healthy ones. It just takes some tapas. Recognize that the first time you start a new behavior is the most difficult act. Each repetition of the behavior makes it progressively easier. Visualize a fast flowing stream to represent the electrical charge that flows through your neural connections when you enact a behavior. The major artery of your river is your strongest unconscious habit. You do it whether you are thinking about it or not. Now take a stick and scrape out an offshoot into the riverbank and allow some of that fast flowing water to take a new course. This is like doing a new behavior for the first time. It’s hard to make that first groove and the water begins as just a trickle. The second time is marginally easier but continues to be hard. It does get easier each time you scrape out that groove but until you have created a gouge large enough to rival the power of the original river flow it will always be easier to backslide than to continue the new behavior. This is why a 30 day challenge can be so powerful. You commit yourself to staying in the fire of tapas for 30 days. You fully expect it to be hard for 30 days but plan to do it anyway. Hopefully by the end of 30 days your new tributary has had its banks ripped wide by the power of your tapas. If it is at least equally as powerful as the old flow then you may continue the new behavior into perpetuity with the old pathway eventually disappearing completely. Simplistic though this image is, it is a pretty good visual of what happens in your brain when you start a new behavior. You simply persevere until your brain has set up a smooth neural pathway for this new behavior or thought pattern. Eventually it is easier to do the new behavior than the old. Having a partner join you may help you to motivate each other.

ImageTalk to your Unconscious The unconscious is simply a recording that has been made and filed for ease of retrieval. It frees us from further investment of thought. It isn’t actually trying to undermine our efforts. At some point in our lives our consciousness instructed our unconscious to feel fear when a certain thing happens, to eat a certain foods when we are sad, etc. The unconscious dutifully follows these directions ad nauseam. The tricky thing is we don’t usually have access to all the layers of our minds when we are fully alert. Our unconscious listens most effectively when we speak to it while in varying states of relaxation. Repeated doses of visualizations and affirmations while experiencing different levels of brain wave activation allow us to share our desired outcomes with the unconscious. This is why the yoga practice of Yoga Nidra can make big shifts in our most basic emotional and mental beliefs (for info on the next Shakti Yoga Nidra Teacher Training go to this link). It is also the core of my birth preparation sessions, the result of which are women having calm and enjoyable birth experiences as a result of having re-trained their unconscious to believe that birth can be comfortable. People also use yoga nidra/guided meditation/hypnosis to change habits such as smoking or to release fears.

Embrace the Joy of Discomfort In essence, if enacting your resolution is making you uncomfortable then you know something BIG is happening at that new fork of that tributary in your nervous system. New neural connections are being made. Your brain is literally re-wiring! If you can get past this bout of discomfort today a whole bank of your new tributary may suddenly collapse and make way for flow. ImageThis could be the turning of the tide. As the ancient sages often wrote, “accept the pain as purification”. This is as true in the action of not saying/doing an habitual behavior as it is in your meditation and asana practice. If the action is easy it is probably not creating much change. Your daily tapas could be to do the yoga pose that you hate every day, to push yourself past that last uncomfortable minute of sitting still in meditation, or to replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one. You will know you have reached purification when you come to love that previously hated yoga pose, when you have sat in meditation twice as long as you had intended, and you don’t even miss not doing the action you are trying to eliminate. The purification feels amazing!

If you are still unsure of the sensation of tapas  try an experiment to puts your neuroplasticity into perspective by changing something in your brain that is “hard wired”. For example, I recently relocated the garbage under the kitchen sink from the left side door to the right. Putting things in the left side kitchen garbage was an unimportant action that had become buried deep in my unconscious automatic behaviors. Even though I probably opened that door a dozen times daily it took me very close to a full month before I completely stopped opening the left side door first. This was hard even though it was an activity completely unwired with emotion. Such practices are a neutral way to explore tapas before taking on more challenging emotionally wired practices like smoking, eating, or snapping at a family member when they push your buttons.

Is there nothing you want to change in your life? Great. Tapas is still a fabulous practice to explore how long it takes your brain to rewire, and to stimulate your neurons in general. Somewhere deep inside us we recognize that tapas in any form has far reaching consequences that shake us to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual core. From the newfound knowledge gained in your neuroplasticity experiments you will be better prepared to transform your eating habits, your movement habits, your patterns of thought, your meditation or asana practice.

Can you show courage and stay in the fire until you find the blessing? Yes you can.

Wishing you a wonderful new year warmed by the fire of your tapas.

Too Old, Heavy, Stiff for Yoga? No Way!

Is the Western perception of yoga a barrier for some?

The picture to the right is my beautiful mom, Marilyn, whom I called from Tokyo 20 years ago, and asked to meet me in six months at a yoga ashram that was a half-day train ride outside Mumbai. Oh….and to sign up for a yoga class in the meantime so that she would know what yoga was before enrolling in a yoga teacher training course. If you know my mom it might not surprise you that she signed up for an introduction to yoga class at the local YMCA, and was waiting for me at the airport in New Delhi that fall wearing flip flops, and carrying the tiniest backpack you have ever seen.

mom brightened navasana
My awesome mom in Navasana (Boat Pose).

In her late 50’s, with an average body size and sky-high blood pressure, my mother sweated her way through 40 degree days to complete her first 200 hour Yoga Teacher training. This included a full month of 5:00 am meditation wake up calls, followed by a 2 hour asana class (physical practice), 4 hours of lecture, a second 2 hour PM asana class, and evening mantra study.  While she was one of only a few “older” students, the teachers came in many ages, shapes and sizes. Many were seniors. Despite a lifetime of practicing asana they were all much more interested in talking to you about meditation and lifestyle. This ashram also ran yoga therapy clinics throughout that area and their students ranged from healthy young people to adults of every age, many with a variety of physical conditions. You could sense this in how they taught. The most beginner and the advanced student were all totally at home in the same asana class.

mom reading
Marilyn studying for her final training exams at the ashram.

In the wake of a series of recent articles talking about how the West is “ruining” yoga I thought of my mom and wondered whether she would have embraced this enormous challenge had her first yoga class been a vinyasa (flow) class taught by a young, lean teacher, surrounded by students in midriff baring yoga clothing. Don’t misunderstand this to mean that I think there is anything wrong with flow yoga, stylish yoga clothing, or young/ thin teachers. I enjoy and teach flow style classes (as well as other styles), own lululemon clothing, and believe an effective teacher can be of any age or body type, including young and thin. 

As a runner in my early 20’s I began studying hot yoga because it was the only thing that felt like a better work out than running. I spent many hours sweating in shorts and short tops and I would not have been interested in going to a gentle yoga class with an emphasis on breathing and meditation. I actually believe that the focus on asana (yoga poses) in the west may actually be necessary to introduce the practice to a society that has been taught to look outside oneself for answers, and values a state of being constantly busy. Indeed, I might not have become a yoga teacher/student writing a blog post on this topic if it were not for a style of yoga that many consider to be extreme. All yoga is good and we need to meet people wherever they are.

mom and teachers
Mom and I with our teachers in India.

Possibly more important than the discussion of whether the teacher ought to be Western or Indian, or classes traditional or physical is; are we reserving space in the yoga images we project to include populations not represented by the “perfect” models in the often challenging poses shown in magazines?. I am sometimes concerned that for every brave soul who has written me prefacing their inquiry about yoga classes with their age and weight, as if it might be a deal breaker, there are a dozen people who did not find the courage to write at all because they felt they were too much, or not enough to do yoga. I am not sure the yoga image (or the practice itself) in the West is always welcoming and accessible to these people.

Those of us who are yoga teachers must look at how we promote our classes, design our websites, etc., and ask ourselves if we are being inclusive. And to go further than that, we should ask ourselves if we are offering any classes that are genuinely accessible to everyone (not that everything we teach has to be for beginners or chair yogis, of course). When someone tells me that they tried yoga and it was too hard for them I let them know that this is simply not true. They just did not go to the right class for them. However I worry that they will never pull together the courage to try another class.

To those looking to begin a yoga class please know that yoga is for everyone.

It doesn’t matter how old you are. The type of poses, speed of practice, balance of breath work and meditation will change as you age to be what you need at that time in your life. The same pose is doing something completely different for every single person in any class.

It doesn’t matter what size or shape your body is. All poses can be done in some version by everyone.

It doesn’t matter how flexible you are. The right class for you will help you maintain the range of motion that you have, and possibly increase it if it is appropriate for you. In the end maybe your yoga class does not need to change your flexibility or body shape. Maybe where you are is good for you and your yoga class will help you feel great about that.

It doesn’t matter what religion or spirituality you practice (or don’t practice). Yoga will help you develop skills of introspection that will help you deepen your understanding of your own truth in whatever form it resonates within you.

mom sun set
My mom enjoying a sunset just above our ashram in Nasik, India.

It DOES matter that you find the right class for you.  The goal of yoga is to enhance your physical, mental and emotional well-being. That is achieved differently by every person, and it changes as we evolve.  If something is not working for you, don’t give up until you have tried at least 2 or 3 different teachers and/or classes. The class for you exists somewhere. Maybe you will even find it on a DVD and do it in your living room!

And, back to my mom. She returned home from her time in India and blew her doctor away with a perfect blood pressure report, despite the fact that she had not taken any of her medication in India (I am SO not recommending that anyone do yoga in lieu of medical treatment! My mother simply does what she wants and listens to no one, doctor or myself included. An occasional source of frustration for me and possibly the karmic return for my teenage years). She continues to practice yoga and teaches chair yoga. She has students are in their 80’s and 90’s! As we begin our journey into the new year I say to anyone thinking of starting a yoga practice that if my mom could do it so can you!

If you would like to explore yoga with Bobby find more information at the links below. Follow your intuition and rest assured that Yoga is for you!
Yoga Classes
Teacher Trainings
Indian Ashram Experience

 

 

Top TWO Yogic Ways to Thrive in Self Isolation


A Yoga Pathway for Keeping it Real

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When asked yesterday to write a post on yoga for self isolation I immediately began to compile a list of common yoga wellness techniques. I contemplated the use of breathing practices, asana, journaling, meditation, laughter, music, nature walks, and creative pursuits appropriate for this purpose. As I was organizing my thoughts and ranking activities by relevance, I realized that this was an impossible task. How could I possibly know what any one person in isolation needs right now? Of course, I could not. I remembered however that I do know someone who does know. So instead of creating a list of things to do (or not do) in isolation, I thought I would instead introduce you to the person with all the answers, and help you listen to them. Hint: It is you!

Yogi Tip #1: Tune In

What is needed to thrive in any situation varies from person to person (and moment to moment). Adding to this complexity is the fact that most of the time we don’t actually know what we need! The three-breath practice below is designed to help you find out.

First close your eyes, inhale a wave of breath, exhale and imagine that wave releasing your body and mind. And now begin.

Beath 1: Body Awareness Inhale and tune in to your body. Visualize your body filling with your breath and become aware of all the sensations in your body. This is a non-judgemental curious sweep. Exhale and imagine your body settling into ease.

Breath 2: Mind Awareness Inhale your breath into your mind. Imagine your brain filling with this breath. Exhale to release your brain into ease.

Breath 3: Heart Awareness Inhale to bring awareness to your heart center. Exhale to visualize this space relaxing and opening up. Ask yourself what you need right now? Maybe you want to pause and breath here for a while longer to wait for an answer or possibly you know immediately what you need. To move? To lie down? To breath fresh air? To connect with someone?

Social media is full of wrestling indignant opinions on whether we should be active or inactive right now. Don’t get caught up in the extremes. There is no right or wrong way to proceed. You are now, and will forever be, the only person who knows exactly what you need.

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Yogi Tip #2: Give Permission

This tip is every bit as important as the first. Without it, your tune-in is not going to be of much use. There are a lot of different emotions being felt right now. Be kind to yourself. Does your tune-in inform you that you need to cry? Take a nap?  Move?  Do you need a break from your kids/partner? If so, feel it and do it (even if you just lock yourself in the bathroom to sit on your vanity counter for a few breaths). The most important thing to do when you learn exactly what you are feeling is to greet it with unconditional compassion, interest, and acceptance.

Jung wrote that the modern man lives in endless transgressions against his instincts. While we may resist certain feelings, the reality is that it is natural to feel angry, sad, lonely, happy, etc. It is also ok to notice it and to feel it. Before doing the three-breath tune-in above commit yourself to non-judgmental acceptance of whatever you discover. If you feel like napping for example, resist the urge to think, “but really I should go for a run”. In this unusual time when we are unable to welcome physical guests into our home I suggest we follow the sage words of Jellaludin Rumi, and instead practice welcoming all of our internal guests. I provide his beautiful poem, The Guest House, below to further inspire. Enjoy

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The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks

 

Eight Reasons to do Yoga Online

Triangle Crop

The recent need to stay inside due to Covid-19 means that many yoga enthusiasts have had to move from studio to online classes.  While it is true that online classes are not the same as the in-studio experience, they do come with some special perks of their own. If you are wondering whether an online class may be right for you, read on for some of the unexpected joys that my students have shared with me since I transferred to a live streaming option.

  1. PJs welcome! Tired from all day at work and wish you could change into your pajamas but it is yoga night? No problem. Yoga at home has no dress code. If you are working from home you may have been in them all day anyhow!
  2. Relieve stress. Something we need to do more than ever right now. The onslaught of news coverage, and worries about loved ones mean that our usual anxiety load is higher than usual. Yoga breathing and meditation studies repeatedly show a powerful impact on the nervous system.
  3. No sitter? Want to introduce yoga to a family member? Online yoga is your solution. Bringing yoga into your home provides a little window into what yoga is all about for hesitant partners or friends. Kids can be put to bed before class, or join in as you move through your practice.
  4. Stay active at home. My students are telling me that even if they are doing the same job at home, they are not moving to and from work, up and down stairs, etc. This means they may be doing significantly less moving than before. The fitbit does not lie!
  5. Savasana followed by proximity to your bed! For my students, this is the most commonly swooned about aspect of doing yoga at home. Especially in a Canadian Winter when going home after class frequently requires one to first scrape frozen rain or snow off the windshield.
  6. Maintain your regular schedule. For some, this alone can ease the anxiety of a sudden upheaval like many of us are experiencing right now. Another perk is that it may help you remember what day of the week it is!
  7. Missed a class? No Problem. Each studio or teacher will have their own policies on this. If you miss a class ask your teacher if there is a link available to a recording. You may be able to do it at a more convenient time for you.
  8. Support a local studio or teacher. Small businesses are struggling right now. While some are fortunate to be able to work from home others are not. If you are in St. John’s and find yourself in a position to support a local business check out the  Guide to the Good website for an easy and efficient way to find local services via  this keyword searchable platform.

Enjoy!

Ardha pasch w student HandFoot crop

Your Nana Doesn’t Need That!

Yogic Lessons on Non-Hoarding from my Northern Nana

My Nana and Grandad in the Grenfell Jackets that my mom made and gave them for Christmas that year.
My Nana and Grandad in the Grenfell Jackets that my mom made and gave them for Christmas that year.

This Summer I was fortunate to receive a posthumous lecture on non-hoarding (Aparigraha) from my late grandmother. She was born in 1921 and like most pre-confederation Newfoundland women she worked hard and endured much. Her life story in written or pictorial form would be a powerful and inspiring one, however no autobiography was ever written and cameras, during most of her life, were scarce to say the least. For better or for worse (depending on your perspective) my nan also did not live in a time of smart phone photos and social media updates, so much of her life experience left this world with her in 2004. Imagine my delight in finding a few video snippets of this wonderful woman in a heap of soon-to-expire VHS cassettes in my mother’s basement; an ironic location to to find a lesson on non-hoarding to be sure.

Using this found footage I decided to create a video memorial of my Nan as a birthday gift for my mother this year. Putting this soon-to-be irretrievable footage into digital video turned out to be a priceless gift to both my mother and myself. What began as a nostalgic and heartwarming project expanded to include a reminder of the transitory nature of life and our contradictory need to hold and compile (parigraha).

Aging VHS cassette with precious memories.
Aging VHS cassette with precious memories.

Patanjali’s yoga sutras present aparigraha, or non-hoarding as an important foundational yoga practice. It’s translation into English varies as interpreters attempt to capture the multi-textured meaning of this concept. Whether it is described as non-possessiveness, non-grasping or non-greediness it is generally understood to mean the practice of keeping one’s desire for possessions down to what is truly necessary. Of course this varies with one’s life stage or situation. The fact that I worked so hard to hold on to my grandmother’s image might of course be argued to be an example of grasping. I obviously won’t take this video with me when I leave this body, however having had the opportunity to “visit” again with Nan at an older and more insightful stage of life feels meaningful. It was also a timely find, as I had just begun a home purge, getting rid of garbage bags full of clothing, toys and furniture. In a most wonderful and joyful way, Nan seemed to be sending me a message underscoring how little we need most of the “things” we have in our homes.

Winter Funeral Ship Cove 1957
Winter Funeral Ship Cove 1957

One of the video snippets of Nan was filmed to send to me while I was living away. Nan was then almost 80 and was showing me her Christmas presents from that year.  Nan’s Vanna White-style presentation of the gifts was given in her lovely northern accent and included lines like “ Dis is a jug and a sugar basin a friend gave me, but you know I don’t use stuff like that now because we got the old can and we takes it and we just pours it out, you know…” and “This is a nightie your aunt gave me, just the right size [laughs naughtily], a mini skirt my dear!…but still, you know, it’s all right”, along with “This is a pair of slippers that haven’t opened up yet cuz I got so many pairs lying around, maid. The way it tis, you don’t know what to get…”.  As I listened to Nan I was reminded of a trip I took to the burning ghats in Varanasi, India years ago. I was watching a body being burned on the pyre in preparation for final resting in the Ganges when I noticed something on the ground to my left. I turned to see a small pair of thin feet sticking out of the end of a small canvas wrap. They looked like they might belong to an older woman and were still covered with the grime and callouses of what appeared to be a hard life. This was the next body to be burned. She was essentially leaving this world just as my nana did despite Nana’s yearly receipt of well-meaning knick-knacks. Both women left this world with only their life experiences as they impacted on, and were absorbed by, their souls in this lifetime.

This burning ghat analogy above only references physical belongings, however Aparigraha does not just simply refer to the grasping onto things. It is about getting rid of all the unnecessary baggage in our lives. Even as we daily get closer to leaving this world we continue to add more things, thoughts, beliefs and opinions to our experience. We don’t just grasp desperately onto our physical possessions. We grasp our experiences in the form of obsessively taking photos of every experience and in over consumption in general, trying constantly to extend and get more out of every experience rather than simply being there. We keep ideas, thoughts and beliefs often long after they have ceased to serve us. As a result we can be unwilling to listen to other perspectives with compassion and respect because of grasping onto our own belief systems.

My nan spent much of her life in spiritual development. She hosted travelling preachers at her home back when rural towns didn’t have fixed locations for church services. While she did spend a lot of her later life in one particular denomination she was not tied to any particular doctrine and would go to any church. In addition to attending church she studied spiritual texts on her own, with great sincerity, her whole life.  She worked hard to live her spiritual path and yet surrendered to whatever was presented in an often difficult life without complaint, and with creative perseverance. Maybe because of this, even when the affluence of modern times produced fancy milk-serving-sets her aparigraha lifestyle dictated that pouring the milk from a can of Carnation would do just fine, thank you very much. This insight was reflected in her joyful presentation of gifts that had obviously little or no use to her but were understood to be given with love. While she died probably never even knowing what the word yoga meant I cannot think of more outstanding example of yogic living.

My holiday goal this year is to get better at choosing meaningful gifts, to find items or experiences that will not be re-gifted or end up in a landfill. What things can I give that will actually be taken by those I love when they leave this world? I know it won’t be as easy as a one stop shop at a department store. I am still working out the details of this shift but I hope to slowly add more and more gifts that transcend the physical. It doesn’t mean that I will never give another physical gift. But I want to be sure that the things given are going to inspire, be used and loved or at the very least needed. Time spent together, food or other items made with love, granting forgiveness or being more tolerant are some of the things I am working on. It could even be as simple as holding back my own opinion, and perspective  over the family holiday meal and listening instead as a viewpoint that I usually oppose is argued; maybe in doing so I will be able to let go of a little more grasping. As my Nan knew, we could all use a little less of that.

I hope you are inspired by my Nana’s video below. Her lovely accent is thick and may not be easily understood by my mainland readers but it should be a delicious treat for any yogis hailing from the Great Northern Peninsula of Newfoundland.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssb1QbdVfA0&w=560&h=315]

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